FunnyIndian.com: Indian Comedian / Desi Comedian Rajiv Satyal

Day 127/-605: Tuesday, January 16, 2007: The Record of Records

January 19th, 2007

OK, so if you’re stealing an internet connection and it goes down, what do you do for computer support? Just knock on their apartment door and ask ‘em to come down and take a look? I’m not saying I’m doing it – I’m just wondering…

So, my internet connection went down today. I guess I’ll find out if I can live without the internet. I already know I can’t – it’s my business to be online. After all, when I was doing my whole introspection thing last year, the one word I decided did sum me up was “witty.” But the next ones were “in-touch” and “connected,” which are pretty tough to back up if you’re not constantly accessible on the ‘net. Thankfully, my old computer’s worked a little bit and my out-of-town visitor Sherif’s laptop is working well. So, it’s likely an issue w/ the computer. Rats!

So, I can’t actually have two short posts in a row, so let’s talk about music. Sherif asked me if I’d be interested in hearing some country acid techno or something crazy like that. I told him I like basically everything. And just to prove it, here’s my list of most-heard albums of all-time. I did this chronologically so you can trace my, um, development. This is different from what I might wish it were. I’d love to be able to claim that my tastes were so good that every one is in the Top 10 of Rolling Stone’s Top 500 albums list. But, this is my life and this is the way it happened – not the way I necessarily wanted it to happen. And keep in-mind that these are albums I listened to all the way through – not one or two tracks. The dates may be inaccurate but it’s how I remember them…

• 1982 – Michael Jackson – Thriller (1982): This is where it all began. My Dad brought this album (back when there were still LPs) home when it came out in 1982 (when I was 6) and played it on his brand-new Harmon/Kardon stereo system. Interestingly, even though my Dad DJs an Indian radio show in Cincinnati, he was very into American music. So was my Mom. Suman, a friend of mine in college, laughed so hard when I told him my Dad made mix tapes. He couldn’t picture his dad doing that. In fact, the big song that caught our attention was “Juicy Fruit,” by Mtume, the track that Biggie Smalls would later dub over for “Juicy.” Anyway, Michael Jackson was the coolest thing on the planet at the time. I used to do all the dance moves, especially when I started watching MTV in 1983. It’s actually kind of sad that I stopped dancing. It was the only time I ever had stage fright. It was at a Holi or Diwali – some kind of Indian function – and they had me listed as “break-dancing.” I freaked out. I told my Mom, “I don’t breakdance!” and when they called my name, I just couldn’t go. = ( And I never really danced after that. “I’m never going to dance again…” – George Michael, 1984. But at any rate, I was hooked on music at an extremely young age.

• 1983 – Various – [Country Compilations] (1975?): I don’t remember the title of the album, but my parents had this country compilation that I used to listen to all the time. The only song I remember is “By The Time I Get to Phoenix” by Glen Campbell. It might also have contained “Country Roads” by John Denver, which was the only song I’ve really ever sung. They likely still have the record. Actually, there’s no “likely” about it – they’re such packrats. I’ll have to look for it the next time I go home. When you ask most people what they listen to these days – really anytime after 1990 – they say, “Everything.” Hit ‘em with “Country, too?” because they’ll usually say, “Well, no.” I don’t listen to it often, but I love country music. It’s so simple. If I ever needed to figure out lyrics, in that pre-internet world, I would just wait for the country version to come out. If you can’t understand the words to a country song, you’re retarded.

• 1987 – The Beastie Boys – Licensed to Ill (1986): Quite a gap b/w ’83 and this, but that’s because I just listened to Q102, the Top 40 station, all the time. This album was huge. I remember learning all the lyrics to “Paul Revere.” (I still know them.) As they’ve progressed through various genres of music, I consider them to be one of the most significant bands of all time. And this album was synonymous with fun. Amazing.

• 1988 – ABBA – The Singles (1982): Our next-door neighbor, Tamara, had this tape. My brothers and I would go over and hang out. Inevitably, she’d put this on. Not something of which I’m particularly proud, but I’m pouring my heart out to yous here.

• 1988 – Various – Cruisin’ Classics (1988?): There was a set of tapes that came out in the ‘80s. That’s not the cover but I can’t find it. All I know is that we had the ‘50s, ‘60s, and ‘70s. Because oldies were harmless and we really didn’t have developed musical tastes yet (Note ABBA.), whenever we took family trips, we’d pop these in. I’m one of the few Gen Xers (Yers, depending whom you ask) who probably knows the early rock ‘n roll years as well as the modern era. Who’d-a-thunk that one of those Time-LIFE Collection infomercials would be right?

• 1990 – Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock – It Takes Two (1990): Still very much in my rap phase, I borrowed this from Jamie. Our French class of about 44 students took a trip to Quebec in 8th grade. I was the only one who brought any kind of dance music, so I was a hit – even amongst the popular kids – now THAT was sooooo cool! Since most of the album is, how shall we say, not as strong, the parties basically consisted of the title track and “Joy and Pain.”

• 1990 – They Might Be Giants – Flood (1990): The Quebec trip marked my move into the alternative scene. My friend, Laura Biancke, had me listen to her headphones; she said I’d just love this band called They Might Be Giants. She just might be right.

• 1990 – Depeche Mode – 101 (1990): Because the girls I hung out with – Laura, Jen, Lena, Trisha, Hope – all loved alternative/new age/modern rock, I got into it. Lena got me DM’s live album (well, tape) 101 for my birthday. I hated it for the first 3 run-throughs. She said to give it a chance and to also listen to 97X – “BAM! The Future of Rock ‘N Roll.” She said once I started to learn the songs that I would love them. And that’s all I basically listened to for the next 2 years. Well, I mean, I was always aware of the pop on the radio, but this became my stuff. Looking back, it’s amazing b/w all The Cure, REM, and DM I was listening to that I didn’t get made fun of for being gay. That would come later – as in, these days.

• 1991 – NWA – Niggaz 4 Life (1991): Yeah, speaking of harmless music, gee whiz. The very first dirty song I ever heard was when I was in the 6th grade. It was “Indian Girl” by Slick Rick. My mouth fell open when I heard the words; I was at my friend Jeff’s house – we’re still friends today – what a bond to forge it over. I don’t know if I so much liked the music as it made me laugh so hard. My friend, Jamie Reising, who lived on the next street, and I would listen to The Geto Boys, 2 Live Crew, and anything else that cursed a lot. I was on the floor laughing to what Bill Cosby would likely call “flip-flarrin’-filth.” There was no album that epitomized gangsta rap to me – even more so than their Straight Outta Compton debut – than Niggaz 4 Life. And it’s good for more than laughs – whenever Ice Cube or Dr. Dre refer to their ol’ days rapping, I get the references.

• 1990 – MC Hammer – Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em (1990): OK, so I came out of my alternative cocoon to listen to this gem of an album. I would actually go on to meet him three times as an adult – not quite the same thrill it would’ve been when he was rockin’ his baggy pants.

• 1991 – REM: It’s not worth it to list every REM album, but suffice it to say that they became my first favorite band. They’re #3 today (behind The Beatles and Led Zeppelin.). Out of Time was just phenomenal, so I proceeded to buy all their albums. My favorites are Document and Life’s Rich Pageant.

• 1991 – Simon & Garfunkel – The Concert in Central Park (1990): My friend, Rob Wilson, introduced me to these guys. Again, because they were “wholesome” music, this would become the default album for family trips.

• 1991 – Metallica – Metallica (1991): My first heavy metal experience. Granted, it’s been around since the ‘60s with Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath leading the way and Steppenwolf naming it (Did you know the term comes from the line in “Born To Be Wild” when he sings “heavy metal thunder”?), Metallica took this genre to a whole new level. Everyone listened to this album – even the drama department kids.

• 1991 – Metallica – …And Justice for All (1988): Because of the newer album, we wanted to know what else they put out. Turns out the ’91 release was much mellower than this stuff. Yes, there have been bands that have made harder and faster stuff, but IMHO, I think this is as hard and fast you can go with it still sounding good. I love all of them – Kill ‘Em All, Ride the Lightning, and Master of Puppets, but this is their best. After the Black Album in ’91, they sold out and went downhill. They should’ve kept it real. They sold out. They should’ve stuck with the doom and gloom.

• 1992 – Steven Wright – I Have a Pony (1985): Cue up the comedy. I had seen some of Bill Cosby: Himself but we didn’t have HBO, so I don’t know if I’ve ever still caught the entire thing. The Wright Album (It should’ve been called that.) had us in hysterics. We heard it at my friend, Kyle Schliesman’s, house. Interestingly, I also watched for the first time what would become my favorite movie of all-time there, too – National Lampoon’s Vacation.

• 1993 – Dennis Miller – The Off-White Album (1987): Continuing the comedy theme, we discovered this one. When we were ball boys a the local tennis tournament, we must’ve listened to this in the car 20 times. I’d also quote it all the time w/ my friends Jon and Matt. I still know all the bits.

• 1993 – Denis Leary: No Cure for Cancer (1993): Definitely “harder” than Dennis’, it was the other album we listened to incessantly.

• 1993 – Pink Floyd – The Wall (1979): THE GREATEST ALBUM EVER MADE. I kicked Dark Side of The Moon a lot, too, but I fell in love with this album. Maybe because we rather inadvertently watched lots of musicals as a kid (a sub-conscious choice instead of Bollywood films?), this sound became the comfort food of music to me. I’ve heard it more times than any other record and I’ll never get sick of any of the tracks – or the whole thing at once.

• 1993 – Led Zeppelin: I was well into my classic rock period by this point. I had sworn I would never listen to “that crap.” Imagine thinking Debbie Gibson and MC Hammer was “the good stuff.” Wow. But I volunteered at the local hospital for over 3 years and my last assignment was in this filing room, where the girls listened to 94.9 The Fox, the local classic rock station. I loathed it. I just couldn’t get into it. It seemed so uncool, with me stuck in this dungeon with this old music as I imagined my friends listening to the so-cool Q102. Ironic due to my old tastes as a kid… but those don’t hold up. I used to love watching golf when I was 4 and now I can barely see how people play it, let alone watch it. As with REM, it’s not worth listing every album. Their best are II and Physical Graffiti, but they’re all amazing; I actually started w/ the 2 box sets. I listened to virtually nothing but them for 2 years – the longest kick I ever went on. They rank a close 2nd to the Beatles.

• 1993 – Jerky Boys – The Jerky Boys (1993): We hadn’t laughed this hard in ages, my group of friends. We still quote the best album of prank calls ever to this day. “My name is Sol Rosenberg!”

• 1993 – Snoop Doggy Dogg – Doggystyle (1993): The most anticipated album in years, on the heels of Dr. Dre’s legendary The Chronic did not disappoint in its grooves or the laughs we got from it. Quite possibly the best rap album ever made. It’s Tha Shiznit.

• 1994 – Garth Brooks – The Hits (1994): A crossover not seen since The Eagles, Brooks was on-track to outsell the Beatles before he hung it up. Thank God, tho – even though every country song seems to end with “that’s right,” that wouldn’t have been right. Our song senior year was “The Dance.” It was of course chosen by the girls but I’d say they got it “…right.”

• 1994 – Various – The Soundtrack of American Graffiti (1973): I actually got into this because they played it at the FIJI House, of all places. Not exactly what I associate with a fraternity, but nevertheless. Although, Animal House had its fair share of oldies. OK, it makes sense now.

• 1994 – Various – Forrest Gump The Soundtrack (1994): As the Academy has a tendency to do, it didn’t pick the best film (The Shawshank Redemption) but it picked the flick that best captured the zeitgeist. I’ll blog about this phenomenon sometime soon… bet you can’t wait. Am I stupid for never understanding the phrase “Stupid Is As Stupid Does?” I’ve still don’t know what that means.

• 1994 – Weezer –Weezer (1994): 1994 holds a special place for me. I think the best time of life was the end of senior year in high school through the first semester of freshman year of college. What a time! Especially for us, as ours was really the 1st year that the internet was becoming user-friendly. All the older folks said you’d lose touch w/ your high-school friends, but they didn’t have the WWW. So, grunge was the music of the day, and while I wouldn’t call Weezer “grunge,” it was “alternative.” I can’t count how many times I’ve heard this one.

• 1997 – The Beatles: It was a slow process for me to get into them, beginning with my purchase of the Red and Blue albums Freshman year in college, but Aaron Minch, a pal from when I interned at Wright Patterson Air Force Base, got me into them w/ a series of mix tapes till I finally broke down and bought all their albums one Christmas. My favorite – and IMHO – their best is Abbey Road. They now rank as my favorite – and the best – musical act of all time. I really went out on a limb w/ that one.

• 1999 – Fiona Apple – Tidal (1996): I didn’t hear this album so much as I overheard it. Vikas, my brother, listened to it virtually everyday for a year and he lived in the next room at my parents’.

• 1999 – Various – Classical Music for People Who Hate Classical Music (1994): When I read, I can only listen to music without words. Probably driven by my 7 years in the dork-estra, playing the viola, I listened to these into the night for years as I read about thermodynamics and mechanics of materials.

• 2000 – Dave Matthews Band – Before These Crowded Streets (1998): With our evolving musical tastes, even though we largely have diverse and therefore mutual ears, this was the one album that my brothers and I never tired of during family trips. Under the Table and Dreaming and Crash have better songs, but this was the best ALBUM, the difference of course being a collection of songs vs. a record with a unifying or conceptual theme. It’s kind of like New York and Los Angeles – LA is a collection of songs, a Greatest Hits, if you will (even if you won’t), what with its different, disconnected neighborhoods; it really is a city without a soul. New York, on the other hand, is an album – somehow, all the neighborhoods, distinct as they are, are at least more connected. And maybe indicative of our different musical tastes, it appears that Vikas’ preference is albums; Rakesh’s are artists; mine are songs. And so it ends here, as albums have come and gone since then, but my days of listening to an entire one seem to have passed – at least till the next phase when something thrills me…

Entry Filed under: A Comic's Journey