Congratulations! Your loan application has been approved. You just need to log on to your bank and wire $3,9887.76349 rupees to the Belgian Consulate. Unfortunately, your PayPal account has been hacked. Please email paypal@gmail.com about this and include your social security number and mother’s maiden name.

We will also be sending you OEM software and cheap subscription meds for your hair loss, weight gain, and fun-size penis, friend. Of course, these are all related since you’ve been scratching your head, wondering why you can’t see your pee-pee under that huge gut. You will need this new look for the barely legal hotties you will meet as you Get Out of the Obese Crowd.

If you don’t sign up 17 people in the next 3 days, you will turn purple and die. THIS IS TRUE!

Just kidding. In all seriousness, thank you VERY much for signing up. I truly appreciate the support. You’ll receive your first free monthly e-newsletter soon.

Please don’t hesitate to drop me a line!

Assume the best,

Rajiv Satyal

The Funny Indian

Your High-Brow, Fun-Size Comedian