I’m a comedian. I do 8 things:
perform standup, host, act, write, speak, consult, rant & rave.
Bios | Resumes | Milestones | FAQs | Business Card | Head Shots
Bios
2010 has been a big year for Rajiv Satyal. Here’s a partial list of what he’s been up to: Hosted Jack Nicholson’s 73rd Birthday Party. Got booked to do the Oscars next year. Mutated into Drew Brees and led the Saints to their first Super Bowl ring. Had a threesome with Jessica Alba and Nicole Scherzinger. Got knighted. Cured cancer. Proved that pi repeats. Captured and killed Osama bin Laden. Landed on Venus. Performed brain surgery on self, thereby allowing use of 120% of brain. Discovered Unified Field Theory. Ate 8 saltines in a minute. Got own statue on Easter Island. Made Chuck Norris cry. Sailed thru the Bermuda Triangle. Folded a piece of paper in half 13 times. Derived Euclid’s 5th postulate from the other four. Built that waterfall thing and held a seance to show MC Escher how it was done. Got MC Escher his own hip-hop recording contract on Cash Money Records. Figured out how a raven is like a writing desk. Brokered a peace deal between the Palestinians and Israelis. Proved the existence of God. Disproved the existence of God. Ate own weight at Godfather’s pizza. Prevented the destruction of the Universe by inventing and inserting a widget last-minute inside the new particle accelerator in Geneva. Found Jimmy Hoffa – he was a little groggy. Would love to tell you more but that’s Heidi Klum at the door. She left her thong here last night. (He typed this whole thing underwater. Or I did. (We’re the same person.))
OK, here are the real ones…
The Long and Short of It
The Short
Rajiv Satyal is the fun-size Indian comedian from Ohio whose witty, universal, and TV-clean act resonates with Middle America by covering everything from racial issues to soap bottles to his favorite topic – himself. This former engineer and P&G marketer has repeatedly opened for Dave Chappelle, Kevin Nealon, Tim Allen, Daniel Tosh, and also for Russell Peters in sold-out theaters across the U.S.A. He has performed everywhere from Boston to Bangalore and has been featured in The Wall Street Journal and The Los Angeles Times. This LA-based pocket pundit challenges people to see a new point-of-view. Most of all, he talks about what it’s like to be Rajiv. And we all have some Rajiv in us, even if we don’t want to admit it. You can find Rajiv regularly performing at the Laugh Factory and Improvs in Los Angeles, acting in commercials, doing improv, on TV, on XM and Sirius Satellite Radio, admiring himself on his Funny Indian Fan Club on Facebook, and on www.funnyindian.com, where you can view clips, read his blog, and subscribe to his rants and podcasts.
The Long
Rajiv Satyal — The Funny Indian
Your High-Brow, Fun-Size Comedian
Rajiv Satyal is the fun-size Indian comedian from Ohio whose witty, universal, and TV-clean act resonates with Middle America by covering everything from racial issues to soap bottles to his favorite topic – himself.
Rajiv was born and raised near Cincinnati, Ohio. Unlike most comics for whom tragedy + time = comedy, he’s just a little guy with a lot to say. His childhood was a blast, given his fun-loving parents and his hysterical brothers. He became funny in 3rd grade, influenced by his uncle and a friend who insisted he’d never make laugh. His interest in entertainment was likely subliminally influenced by the hobbies of his family: his Mom, a singer; his Dad, a DJ, one brother a singer, writer, and actor; the other a sportsman and speaker; his aunt, a painter and poet; not to mention his Dad’s family’s making of Bollywood films.
Despite sprouting a moustache in elementary school and not breaking 100 pounds till his senior year in high school, he somehow glided through childhood without being picked-on. A friend would later comment, “Sounds like God picked on you enough.” Rajiv wanted to be Class Clown, but the guy who won was on the 5-year high school plan, so he had to settle for being Class President. A dork who managed to have cool friends, his 11-year Perfect Attendance record was solely driven by not wanting to miss out on a day’s worth of stories.
Rajiv went to college and noticed, for Indians, the part of the form that allows you to choose your major was grayed-out to “pre-med.” He finally graduated in Materials Engineering, which he figured was good for, well, material. While in college, Rajiv dabbled in everything from politics (interning on Capitol Hill in 1999) to comedy (winning The Funniest Person in Cincinnati amateur contest). Rajiv ironically “got serious about comedy” in 2002. In June 2005, he won The Funniest Person in Cincinnati contest in the semipro/professional division on his first try.
Upon graduation, he worked at the world headquarters of Procter & Gamble, in the purchasing, media, and marketing departments. He performed (and still does) at many P&G and other corporate events and had his own column in P&G’s Home Made Simple newsletter, which reached 15 million US households. Occasionally, Rajiv was seen doing actual P&G work.
He has since opened multiple times for many nationally-renowned comics, including Dave Chappelle, Kevin James, Tim Allen, Daniel Tosh, and Kevin Nealon. Rajiv has opened for Russell Peters in sold-out theaters across the U.S.A. In fact, in December 2006, an Indian newspaper asked Russell to name “comics to watch” – he named only two in the States; Rajiv was one of them.
Rajiv was often heard on various Cincinnati radio stations, seen in many local newspapers and magazines, and found onstage regularly as an MC and a Feature act at Midwest comedy clubs and colleges. Rajiv turned 30 in March 2006, at which point he freaked out, realizing that while he had done all he could do to gain unique experiences in Ohio – from selling knives to telemarketing to being a tennis ball boy – he had still lived in OHIO his whole life. So, he packed up and moved to LA and is now a full-time comic. Rajiv is in the rare position of hoping he makes it in entertainment so he doesn’t have to go back to that six-figure gig with health benefits and job security.
This pocket pundit is a comedian who stands on the fringe of what is acceptable and challenges people to see a new point-of-view. You certainly don’t come to Rajiv’s shows to escape – you come to experience. Because he was raised when the anthem of the time for minorities was assimilation, the Indian influence had very little impact on his life. Now, he is trying to get in-touch with his roots, if for no other reason than to deliver for the Indians and non-Indians who expect him to be more “Indian” – even though he’s really just an Ohioan. And to be able to explain that Indians were not involved in 9-11 – just 7-11.
The act takes the audience on a journey, while conveying a key message of diversity, which helps to break down stereotypes: We’re all different and we’re all the same. Rajiv thinks that with each person who learns to assume the best about others, we can make the world a better place. Sound lofty? It is. Can he do it? We’ll see. And in case you’re wondering, he did make that 3rd grade friend laugh. So, Rajiv thinks he can do anything. At the end of the day, he talks about what it’s like to be Rajiv. And we all have some Rajiv in us, even if we don’t want to admit it.
You can find Rajiv regularly performing at the Laugh Factory and Improvs in Los Angeles, acting in commercials, doing improv, on TV, on XM and Sirius Satellite Radio, admiring himself on his Funny Indian Fan Club on Facebook, and on www.funnyindian.com, where you can view clips, read his blog, and subscribe to his rants and podcasts.
Point-of-View
The Industry always wants to know what an entertainer’s point-of-view is. To me, it’s the same as asking, “If you had the world’s attention for one minute, what would you say?” Here goes.
Well, the problem is that we laugh when we should cry and cry when we should laugh. We spend so much time worrying about the little things and we sweep the big things UNDER THE RUG because they’re too painful – and it’s the big things that are going to kill us. Honest debate is dead, because people have become too touchy. And if our business, religious, and political leaders (still) lack the courage to challenge people to get out of their comfort zone, then maybe a comedian should.
So, here’s what I can do: I can show myself to you as honestly as I can and hopefully being myself will inspire you to do the same.
And here’s what we can all do together: for the little things, in the absence of information to the contrary, assume the best. The next time somebody cuts you off on the highway, presume he’s got a good reason, so instead of getting mad, yell, “Good luck!” That’ll scare him more than the finger would – nothing is more threatening than peace, love, and understanding. And you should laugh it off anyway – that’s what we do when stuff like that happens in the movies.
For the big things, seek to find the truth – about the world, about that which is different, and especially about you: Be yourself… if you can find him. (Or her.)
Most of life’s answers are simple, but the context is complex, so there’s a lot of ambiguity. Therefore, temper your stances. Of course, everything in moderation – even moderation.
Why am I the guy to deliver this message? I can tell you to lighten up because I weigh a bit over a buck. And I can connect and bring people together because an Indian from Ohio is about as centered as it gets: from the middle of the country and the middle of the color spectrum. I’m not black or white. Brown is the new gray. And I’m here to pull that rug out from under you.
Resumes
Milestones
| August 1998 | Officially performs stand-up for the first time at Go Bananas Comedy Club in Montgomery, OH |
|---|---|
| August 1999 | Wins the amateur field of the Funniest Person in Cincinnati Contest @ Go Bananas Comedy Club |
| March 2000 | Opens for Dave Chappelle at University of Cincinnati (sold-out 900 people) |
| 2000 – 2003 | Stops live performing to write material and develop on-stage persona  |
| May 2003 | Opens for Kevin James at the Taft Theatre in Cincinnati, OH (sold-out 2400 people) |
| April 2004 | Writes first blog |
| May 2004 | Performs at the M Bar in Hollywood, CA |
| February 2005 | Opens for Russell Peters for the first time at The Ohio State University in Columbus, OH |
| July 2005 | Wins the professional field of the Funniest Person in Cincinnati Contest @ Go Bananas Comedy Club |
| July 2005 | Opens for Kevin Nealon at the Funny Bone in Newport, KY |
| July 2005 | Lands on front cover of the Cincinnati Enquirer, the city’s most widely-read newspaper |
| July 2005 | Wins voting contest and is named “P&G’s Funniest Employee” by Q102, Cincinnati’s #2 FM radio station |
| August 2005 | Records first podcast, which appears in iTunes |
| September 2005 | Does first TV interview (Fox 19 morning news) |
| August – September 2005 | Appears on 4 Cincinnati radio stations as Funniest Person in Cincinnati |
| September 2005 | Performs at Gotham Comedy Club in New York City |
| September 2005 | Opens for Dave Chappelle at the Funny Bone – his very 1st show after returning from Africa |
| October 2005 | Opens for Russell Peters at the Moore Theatre inSeattle, WA (sold-out 1900 people) |
| October 2005 | Performs first feature week at Wiley’s Comedy Club in Dayton, OH |
| November 2005 | Performs first feature week at Go Bananas Comedy Club in Cincinnati, OH |
| November 2005 | Opens for Dave Chappelle at his home club of Wiley’s in Dayton, OH |
| January 2006 | Opens for Russell Peters on home turf at the Funny Bone in Cincinnati |
| May 2006 | Moves to Los Angeles, CA |
| June 2006 | Appears on The Gary Burbank Show on Cincinnati 700 WLW |
| June – July 2006 | Takes 2nd hiatus of career for acclimation to LA |
| August 2006 | Gets on stage for 1st time after the move |
| September 2006 | Goes full-time |
| September 2006 | Performs at The World-Famous Comedy Store in LA for the first time |
| October 2006 | Performs at The World Famous Laugh Factory in LA for the first time |
| October 2006 | Launches The Funny Indian Newsletter as a monthly occurrence |
| November 2006 | Opens Russell Peters’ LA shows to crowds of 1200 and 1800 |
| November 2006 | Performs for 10,000 people in North Carolina |
| November 2006 | Performs an hour-long set for first time |
| November 2006 | Returns to P&G for first show since leaving this esteemed company |
| December 2006 | Unveils new image as “Your High-Brow, Fun-Size Comedian” |
| February 2007 | Features at the Improv with Kevin Nealon, at his request |
| February 2007 | Lands college representation |
| February 2007 | Passes audition for The Groundlings |
| February 2007 | Crosses 5,000 MySpace Friends |
| March 2007 | Lands commercial representation and goes on first audition |
| April 2007 | “Passes” showcase to feature in Midwest Funny Bones |
| May 2007 | Designs and unveils T-shirts |
| May 2007 | Does 75 minutes of clean material to an audience ranging in age from 10- to 80-years old |
| June 2007 | Performs at the Hermosa Comedy & Magic Club for the first time |
| June 2007 | Performs at the Hollywood Improv for the first time |
| July 2007 | Launches IndianComedians.com, the world’s first Indian booking agency |
| July 2007 | Runs first-of-its-kind user-generated content program with Tremor, P&G’s word-of-mouth agency, for teens to submit & vote on jokes to be performed in LA comedy club |
| July 2007 | Shoots first TV commercials |
| July 2007 | Launches The Funny Indian Fan Club as a Facebook Group |
| August 2007 | Is Interviewed on XM’s National Lampoon Radio channel |
| August 2007 | Has video accepted as submission on Current TV’s website |
| September 2007 | Tapes 30-min set as part of Indian Invasion Comedy DVD |
| October 2007 | Co-headlines Make Chai, Not War, Hindu-Muslim comedy showcase, in DC, to an crowd of 550 |
| November 2007 | Hosts 2007 Bollywood Music & Fashion Awards for an audience of 4500 |
| December 2007 | Returns to home club of Go Bananas Comedy Club in Cincinnati to feature |
| December 2007 | Hosts AVS, a weekly Bollywood TV news show |
| January 2008 | Lands IMDB page |
| January 2008 | Is featured in LA Times |
| February 2008 | Lands the #35 spot on the Top 50 Coolest Desis of 2007 |
| February 2008 | Appears on Sirius Channel Howard 101 – Jackie The Jokeman Martling’s hour-long show |
| February 2008 | Hosts AVS for the 2nd time |
| February 2008 | Passes 1,000 friends on Facebook within a year |
| March 2008 | Records first collaboration with Melanie Kannokada |
| March 2008 | Showcases at the APCA National Conference |
| April 2008 | Gains first mainstream TV credit by taping for Bill Bellamy’s Who’s Got Jokes? |
| April 2008 | Passes 2nd showcase at Laugh Factory |
| May 2008 | Begins taping own talk show for Pan Desi |
| May 2008 | Kicks off motivational speaking career by talking to NFL rookies about personal branding |
| June 2008 | Opens for Jo Koy |
| June 2008 | Does first international shows – in Geneva, Switzerland, for P&G |
| June 2008 | Decides to pursue comedy full-time beyond self-imposed 2-year deadline, given achievement of financial goal for Year 2 (three months early) |
| July 2008 | Receives approval of trademarks for Funny Indian and Your High-Brow, Fun-Size Comedian |
| July 2008 | Releases point-of-view |
| August 2008 | Co-hosts first show with Melanie Kannokada |
| September 2008 | Gets signed by comedy management firm Messina Baker Entertainment |
| October 2008 | Becomes Laugh Factory Regular |
| October 2008 | Becomes Improv Regular |
| November 2008 | Returns to Cincinnati to feature again for Kevin Nealon |
| November 2008 | Hosts 3 shows in 3 weeks at Long Beach Laugh Factory, billed as world’s largest comedy club |
| December 2008 | Quoted in The Wall Street Journal |
| December 2008 | Hired VP of Marketing for FunnyIndian.com |
| January 2009 | Tied longest set (75 minutes), this time for a majority non-South Asian crowd |
| January 2009 | Began improv classes at Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB) |
| March 2009 | Got a good review from Bob Saget after Hollywood Laugh Factory set |
| March 2009 | Auditioned (first time) for the Montreal Just for Laughs Festival |
| March 2009 | Performed in the Main Room at the Comedy Store |
| April 2009 | Finished “Material Document” – every joke written… Times New Roman, Font 12, single-spaced… 130 pages… and counting |
| April 2009 | Did 3rd (sold-out) Make Chai, Not War show with Azhar Usman and Paul Varghese |
| May 2009 | Performed at the House of Blues on Sunset Blvd. |
| May 2009 | Opened for Maz Jobrani at the Irvine Improv |
| May 2009 | Hosted Bruin Bhangra, the largest South Asian collegiate event on the West Coast |
| May 2009 | Had best standup financial month ever |
| May 2009 | Surpassed 1,000,000 views on YouTube videos |
| June 2009 | Opened 8 shows for Russell Peters at the DC Improv |
| July 2009 | Announced launch of Funny ‘Cause It’s True, consulting program that uses comedians to generate marketing insights |
| July 2009 | Broke own record for longest show – 80 minutes |
| August 2009 | Booked and shot first network national commercial (Walgreens) |
| August 2009 | Opened for Kathleen Madigan at Hermosa Comedy & Magic Club |
| September 2009 | Toured India for the first time – 2 shows in Bangalore (performing 1-hr sets) and 1 in Kolkata |
| September 2009 | Debuted one-man show (as a two-person show w/ Melanie Kannokada) to a sold-out, standing-room-only crowd in Chicago |
| October 2009 | Opened for Tim Allen multiple times at the Laugh Factory |
| October 2009 | Graduated from Upright Citizens Brigade Improv 201 class |
| November 2009 | Headlined the Cincinnati Funny Bone for the 1st time, doing 50 & 75 minutes |
| November 2009 | Featured for Kevin Nealon at the Cincinnati Funny Bone, appearing w/ him for the 3rd straight year |
| December 2009 | Passes 3,000 friends on Facebook |
| December 2009 | Appeared on Extra, bringing up Tim Allen to the stage at Laugh Factory |
| December 2009 | Prepares to go out for pilot season for the 1st time |
| March 2010 | Made the quarterfinals of Last Comic Standing |
| April 2010 | Debuts “Randomly Selected,” a corporate diversity presentation, at Bayer Pharmaceuticals |
| April 2010 | Books a plethora of schools for 2010/11 at NACA Northern Plains |
| April 2010 | Signed across-the-board (theatrical, hosting) at Innovative Artists |
| May 2010 | Graduates from UCB 401, completing the “undergrad” curriculum at UCB |
| May 2010 | Takes 8-day writing hiatus for one-person show and new ideas |
| June 2010 | Earns first network TV credit as Last Comic Standing episode airs on NBC |
| July 2010 | Re-launches The Funny Indian Show podcast online and on New York radio station |
| July 2010 | Creates Facebook Funny Indian Fan Page |
| July 2010 | Features for Sebastian Maniscalco at Ontario Improv |
| August 2010 | Opens for Orny Adams, the “other guy” in the Jerry Seinfeld documentary, Comedian |
| November 2010 | Launches YouTube channel |
| December 2010 | Launches the new & improved FunnyIndian.com |
| December 2010 | Has best December ever |
| March 2011 | Completes full curriculum of improv and sketch writing at UCB |
| May 2011 | Performs a well-reviewed 75-minute standup show for 400 people in Muscat, Oman |
| June 2011 | Has material air on Pandora’s brand-new comedy channel |
| July 2011 | Features all week at Las Vegas Improv, booked personally by founder Budd Friedman |
| August 2011 | Books 4th consulting program for Funny ‘Cause It’s True – 1st client outside of P&G |
| August 2011 | Lands in GQ India blog |
| September 2011 | Has blog post re R.E.M. quoted on Soundcheck on NPR |
| October 2011 | Performs standup for 90 minutes at Boston College (longest show) |
| November 2011 | Books NACA Nationals |
| November 2011 | Lands feature article in Telegraph |
| December 2011 | Features all week for Sebastian Maniscalco at Gotham Comedy Club in NYC and successfully follows a guest spot by Jim Gaffigan |
| December 2011 | Fulfills promise of releasing continuous content all year: Blog Mondays, New Stuff Tuesdays, Quote Wednesdays, Podcast Thursdays, and Video Fridays |
FAQs
How did you get started?
How was your first time onstage?
When did you know you wanted to be a professional?
How are you different?
What’s your ultimate goal?
What’s your dream job?
Who are your influences?
Which famous people have you met?
Have you ever bombed?
Who’s your favorite comedian?
What do your parents think?
Why should I hire you?
Are you going to do LCS?
What advice do you have for aspiring comedians?
Where are the answers?
I didn’t say there were answers. I wrote “questions.” Hey, at least I answered the last one.
Business Card
Head Shots
